Views from the Void

The Fog
Plot: In 1871, four men are the founders of the town of Antonio Bay after betraying and destroying a ship full of lepers. The lepers meet a watery end, but after an anchor drags up some relics, the ghosts of the lepers return to Antonio Bay, in the form of the fog, to wreak their murderous revenge on the helpless townsfolk.
My Thoughts: I have not seen the original film so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I was disappointed, especially as there are some good horror/supernatural movies around. The fog itself never really evokes a sense of dread or horror for me. The characters are not well developed so the audience never really connects with them so you end up not really caring if they survive or not. The best character in it is lighthouse radio DJ Stevie Wayne (Selma Blair) but she is under-used. You do have to wait until the end before you get some real action but it is quite a slow road until that point. The effects are good but there is nothing that you haven’t seen before in other films. And even when you get to the action, it tends to be disjointed and brief with no real objective. And as for the ending- my initial thought was “Oh was that it”.
Overall a slow and disappointing film that doesn’t deliver many shocks or surprises.
Best bits: Selma Blair is good- shame they don’t use her enough!
Score: 4/10

Date Movie
Plot: To take pith out of as many films as possible and try very hard to be funny.
Film Plot: Julia Jones is desperate for a date so she goes to see date specialist Hitch who gives her a make-over and she gets on TV show and wins a date with Grant Fockyerdoder. They fall in love, meet each other’s parents and plan for a wedding. However, Grant’s ex-fiancée Andy wants to split them up. Will Julia get her man?
My thoughts: Firstly I love Spoof Movies (Hot Shots, Loaded Weapon). I thought Scary Movie was excellent but I thought Scary Movie 2 was a big pile of poo! So which is this film going to be; A Scary Movie 1 or a number 2? Well, it was a number 2! Literally! Right from the start it was obvious that real laughs were going to be rare. The film attempts to parody too many films in very silly and obvious ways, without actually being clever. It’s almost as if they have tried too hard to be funny. Most parodied scenes are overly long; it’s as if they think the audience won’t get the joke in the first minute so they extend it- for example, the restaurant/Harry met Sally scene. Even the brilliant Alyson Hannigan couldn’t save the movie. However, although there film is poor overall, there were times when I did smile (like with the Darth Vader suit). My favourite part in the film was a family scene in a restaurant where they all started singing, ‘say a little prayer’; but mainly because it reminded me of the proper scene in My Best Friends Wedding. One other good thing about this film is the soundtrack; they use some kicking songs! Overall this is a poor attempt to be funny and will only occasionally raise a smile
Best Bits: The ‘say a prayer scene’ and the Carmen Electra scene!
Score 3/10

Casanova
Plot: The serial fornicator Casanova (Heath ledger) has been told he must find a wife. He chooses virginal Victoria, but the equally virginal Giovanni has his heart set on her. Later Casanova encounters Francesca, Giovanni’s sister, and falls in love, but Francesca is already betrothed to Lard King Papprizio. This story follows the antics of Casanova to woo Francesca by any means necessary, whilst also trying to avoid being hung as a heretic by Inquisitor Pucci (Jeremy Irons).
My Thoughts: I have not seen any other version of Casanova so this story is new to me. I enjoyed the film although it did drag to begin with. The characterisations are generally very good although Heath doesn’t really come across as an Italian love god. The plot revolves mostly around stolen identities and has ‘Farce’ written all over it (as opposed to historical drama). The secondary characters make the film more enjoyable, such as the lard king Pucci and Victoria, who is practically biting the banisters to get laid! It has some nice comic moments and some good script (but Heath still has trouble delivering them with any passion), but you do mhave to wait ‘til the end for action. The ending itself is very good, if a little implausible, but well worth waiting for. All in all a good romp with some excellent characterisation from the whole cast, but it’s cheesiness probably won’t set the world alight!
Best Bits: The bit with the pig was a very short plot point but very important. And the Ball scene
Score: 7/10

Aeonflux
Plot: Set 400 years in a future destroyed by a nuclear virus that has killed all but a few people. The survivors are living in a city called Bregna, which is run by scientist Trevor Goodchild, who found a cure for the killer virus. Aeon is a rebel, part of a group called the Monicans, and when her sister is killed, she is given the mission of killing Trevor Goodchild. However things are not as they seem…
My Thoughts: This is a typical Sci-fi flick that will satisfy many sci-fi fans, mainly because Aeon (Charlize Theron) spends the entire film wearing a skimpy black number. The film does suffer from a complex storyline which is confused at times, and a viewer can be left just believing certain things without going into much depth. However there are some moments of genius; like the character Sithandra, who has the most spectacular feet! The movie does have a good feel and look to it, like a cross between Gattaca and The Island, and there is a steady pace to it, although there are no real surprises.
Best Bits: Sithandra. And the killer garden; now I want a lawn like that to stop intruders!
Score: 6/10

Final Destination 3
Plot: At a fun fair, Wendy and her friends are about to board the roller-coaster, but after a premonition of a disaster which predicts their demise, she freaks and refuses to ride it. She and her friends then watch as the roller-coaster crashes. They have cheated death and death is not happy; in fact he is out to redress the balance. The survivors then have to defeat death or meet their own gruesome and grisly end.
My Thoughts: The format is exactly the same as the two films that precede it. If you liked them you will like this; just don’t expect anything new. The events leading up to the roller-coaster ride are ominous and leave you with a feeling of impending doom. Somehow though I can’t imagine any funfair having so much death and hell imagery-it is supposed to be a fun family place after all.
The disaster is quite graphic but very fast paced; I thought the car crash scene in FD2 was more graphic. After the initial disaster, the following events set themselves up well, although the plot is more obvious; i.e. the order of death is the order they sat on the ride. But the scenes are well developed leading into each ‘death’; especially the scene in the hardware store. I mean if you know death is out to get you, you wouldn’t want to work in a place with nails and saws and hammers- that’s just asking for trouble. But the ending gave me the best shock; just like in FD1 where it was six months later and you thought they have survived, but I won’t spoil the ending, it’s well worth the wait.
All in all a good movie, you know what you’re getting, but nothing new.
Best bit: The Sun bed scenes. Inventive way to die! And the ending.
Score 7:10

Brokeback Mountain
Plot: In 1963,strangers Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) get a job together tending sheep on Brokeback Mountain. However their relationship unexpectedly develops beyond friendship. When the job is brought to a sudden end, they go their different ways. The film follows the lives of the two men as they marry and have children, even though they still yearn for each other and can only meet in private a few times a year on Brokeback mountain.
My Thoughts: This is a very powerful film and you would have to be a hard lump of cheese not to be moved by it. There is very little to laugh at as the whole film has this dark underlying theme of a love that can never be accepted. Heath Ledger gives a stunning performance as a cowboy who has to cope with the images from his childhood and the homophobia instilled into him by his father. Unfortunately he does mumble some of his lines so it was difficult to catch all he said. I think another strength of the film comes from the reaction of the families affected, especially Michelle Williams who plays Alma Del Mar. The film takes place over a couple of decades; the passage of time shown only by the growth of sideburns and kids. And as the years pass, you realise that there can be no happy resolution to the situation; you can only empathise. And you will empathise.
The whole film is remarkable. A remarkable subject that is handled beautifully and remarkable performances by all actors. This ought not too be missed
Score: 9/10. No sod it 10/10. You can’t beat it for what it does
Best bit: When Jack finally stands up to his father in law, was a good moment. Other best bets; the whole bloody thing!