Views from the Void

As I have been putting reviews of films and stuff on my other blog. I thought i would keep them all here

The Dukes of Hazzard
Plot (such as it was): The Duke boys, Bo and Luke, have to stop the dastardly Boss Hogg from turning the county of Hazzard into a huge Quarry, whilst trying to win the Annual Car Rally.
My Verdict: I was pleasantly surprised by this film. I was expecting not to like it at all. There was a plot, even though it was a bit lame, but it jollied along quite nicely. The star of the show was Sean William Scott as Bo Duke. His performance overshadowed the rest for me. Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg didn't look right, neither did the Sheriff. Jessica Simpson looked good as Daisy, but she said early on "You know what's gonna happen. The boys are gonna get arrested and I'm gonna have to shake my ass to get them out" Which was pretty much her role in the film. But to be fair, the film didn't take itself too seriously, like Starsky and Hutch before it.
I give it 6/10
Favourite bit: When they leave Hazzard and go to Atlanta

The Cave:
Plot: A group of cave divers (I suppose speliologists doesn't sound as cool) led by brothers Jack and Tyler are asked to examine a cave which has been found under a church in the middle of no-where. After a tunnel collapses, they find themselves trapped and need to find another way out. However, there are other things lurking in the cave systems.
My Verdict: To me this was a cross between Exorcist: The Beginning and Alien V Predator, and I liked them both so I was OK. The story was quite predictable even the twist ending wasn't really a surprise. What made the film was the mood of it, and the darkness and dampness of the cave system certainly gave the right mood. However some of the earlier action sequences were difficult to watch as the camera work was all over the place. As the film progressed I tended to ignore the obvious cliches like "Why only beautiful people can become world class cave divers" or how it was that when they split up and Tyler went to find the other small group he found them with relative ease and, even when under pressure being chased by the creatures, they managed to end up back in the right cavern.
A bog-standard horror(ish) whose plot-by-numbers doesnt disappoint but doesn't really surprise too much either. Also there are no big name actors involved, which is probably just as well.
I give it a 6/10.
Favourite bit: Charlie's wall climb

The 40-year-old Virgin.
Plot: Andy accidentally lets slip he is a virgin during a poker match with his work colleagues/friends who then take it upon themselves to rectify the situation.
My thoughts: Steve Carell (who?) is very convincing in the role as a geeky, toy-collecting virgin. The film itself started quite slowly and I thought the initial premise of his friends trying to get him laid, would wear very thin. Thankfully there was more to this film than that. There was a romance blossoming between Andy and E-bayer Trish and his friends also have their own relationship problems, which leads to some interesting situations. The plot itself is nicely predictable, a romantic comedy that makes you feel good at then end, even if during the ride there are some uncomfortable moments (for example, the morning glory problem! You know what I mean guys!).
Rating: 7/10
Favourite moments: Just after the speed dating, the visit to the sex advisor and the explosive finale(you’ll be singing along).

The Longest Yard.
Plot: Paul Crewe is an ex-footballer who gets arrested when he drunkenly ‘borrowed’ his girlfriend’s (Courtney “Are they real?” Cox, makes a brief appearance) car. In prison, Paul ends up training a motley crew of inmates to turn them into a football team for a grudge match against the Prison guards.
My thoughts: To me this was a mix of Stir Crazy and Boyz n the Hood with a bit of dodgeball (But not as funny). Adam Sandler is less than memorable in the role as Paul, whose best moment is the arrest right at the beginning. The entertainment comes really from the characters met in the prison, even if they are predictable. Chris Rock shines in every scene he is in, whereas you hardly notice Burt Reynolds. The story plods along quite predictably, with one shocking twist (Well I didn’t see it coming) and a tense(ish) ending
Rating 5/10
Favourite moment: When the inmates get hold of the security videos

Wolf Creek (18)
Plot: Three students set off into the Australian outback to visit the crater at Wolf Creek. Unfortunately their car breaks down and they are rescued by a stranger, who turns out to be a serial murderer. From then on it is a race for survival.
My Thoughts: It’s hard to read anything deep or mysterious into the plot. Three teenagers (One boy, two girls) get kidnapped and have to escape. However, their captor and killer isn’t going to let them escape. The film delivers some shocks and gruesome moments, but there are no real plot twists- it’s a basic race for survival-or-get-horribly-slaughtered film. The thing that makes you stop and think is the fact that it is based on real reports and stories about outback murders. So who knows, it may be a true story.
Best bit: The most tense moment of the film is when Liz goes back to the ‘lair’ to find another car. (Why get another car? You’re out! Why not just run away? Why go back in there? Huh?) You know there’s going to be a ‘behind you’ moment, but waiting for it is fun.
Rating: 6/10

Pride and Prejudice (u)
Plot: Well it’s a classic. Mrs Bennet is keen to get her daughters married. At the ball of a new neighbour, Bingley, he meets and falls for eldest daughter Jane. At the same ball Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) is introduced to Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen). Elizabeth is unimpressed by Darcy, but prefers the attentions of Mr. Wickham, a soldier, however her mother would much rather she be taken with Mr Collins, a cousin and heir to the Bennet estate. This is a love story between Elizabeth and Darcy.
My thoughts: It is a well scripted and well acted piece of drama. Keira Knightley is a welcome presence on the big screen. The one person I am yet to be convinced about is Matthew Macfadyen, as he has very little facial expression. I enjoyed his role in Spooks where he played the distant and aloof Tom and his portrayal of the distant and aloof Darcy is also good. But is he just a brilliant actor, or is he playing himself, distant and aloof? Judi Dench makes a good impact as Lady Catherine De Bourg.
I have not read the book; I don’t intend to. But this telling of the classic tale is well worth a look. It’s like Bride and Prejudice but without the Sari’s and dancing!
Best Bits: All the scenes with Knightley and Macfadyen. Well scripted and portrayed.
Rating: 7/10

Goal!
Plot: Unknown talent Santiago Munez gets spotted in LA by an ex Newcastle United talent spotter. The young player defies his father’s wishes and heads off to Newcastle to realise his dream. The film follows his struggles to get into the squad and win the heart of nurse Roz (Anna Friel), whilst coping with his asthma, bullying team-mates and the lure of a hedonistic lifestyle, as offered to him by his friend and first team player Gavin Harris.
My thoughts: It’s predictable! You know the guy’s going to make the team and save the day, so don’t expect anything surprising. The only shock in it was Anna Friel’s attempt at a Geordie accent; it didn’t quite sit right with me I’m afraid. There are some nice moments, some sad moments (watch out for the dodgy knee) and some great soccer moments. It’s like Jossy’s Giants but grown up! There are some Cameo appearances (David Beckham and Alan Shearer to name but two) and some nice lines; “How old do you need to be to drink here? Eleven”. If you like football it’s great, if you don’t I wouldn’t bother with it
Best Bit: The final match! As a Liverpool fan, it was nice to some Liverpool soccer action, although some of the look-a-likes were a bit suspect.
Score: 7/10

A History of Violence
Plot: Tom Stall is a mild mannered family man and Café owner in Indiana- or is he? When some murderers threaten his café staff, Tom violently defends the place and becomes a local hero. But the media coverage brings the unwanted attention of crook Fogarty (Ed Harris) who claims that Tom is actually killer Joey Cusack. What follows are some tense and violent family situations culminating in a deadly stand-off with his brother, Richie.
My thoughts: The film is short with the action scenes, which is on the most part violent and graphic (I imagine they bought lots of chopped liver), are short. The rest of the film develops the characters quite well, leading to a tense showdown between Tom and his wife. I did find myself feeling sympathy for the main character, as all he wanted to do was move on from his past whereas Fogerty wouldn’t let him forget. The ending left me hanging a bit as to whether his wife had forgiven or accepted him
Best Bit: Had to be when Tom’s son Jack finally stood up to the Bully. Is the director showing us that violence is hereditary?
Score: 6/10

Kinky Boots
Plot: Charlie Price has inherited a shoe factory from his father, but the business is about to go bust, unless he can find a new niche market for his shoes. After an accidental encounter with Drag Queen Lola, he realises there is a market for high-heeled boots which can bare the weight of a man. Charlie enlists the help of Lola and factory worker Lauren to help prepare his new boots for a Milan show.
My thoughts: This film is a light-hearted feel good romp, which gets most of it’s ‘comedy’ from the ‘drag queen world mixing with Straight-laced northern factory world’ situation. The characters are predictable, as is the story and never goes into the realm of offensive. It does have some nice moments, and some good musical numbers set in the drag club, but never really lifted more than a smile from me.
Favourite bit: The Milan catwalk scene at the end
Score: 5/10

Serenity
Plot: The crew of the spaceship Serenity are harbouring two passengers, a brother and sister (Simon and River) who are wanted by the Alliance (The corrupt government). The Alliance have sent an assassin to kill River, who may have government secrets gained whilst she was a research subject. After a subliminal message has River acting strangely, it leads the crew to a mysterious planet in the heart of Reaver (crazed zombie-like folk) Territory. And the planet holds a terrible secret of it’s own…
My thoughts: I wasn’t sure I’d be able to follow this film because I hadn’t seen the series, Firefly. But that wasn’t the case. The introduction of the film led nicely into the story of River’s rescue by her brother Simon and the crew of Serenity were nicely introduced during the opening heist. There was a nice pace to the film, with some humorous script and well-developed characters. There were also few surprises; not all the characters make it to the end, which seemed to be a bold move if they intend to have sequels. If there was one thing that disappointed me, it was the rush ending; I wasn’t convinced that the assassin would just let them go! Although I can see that the film needed a quick resolution at that point. Other than that, this film is well written and has a good story that is well delivered by the cast! You don’t even need to see the series, but you get more out of it if you do.
Favourite Bit: When River receives her subliminal message and starts fighting!
Score: 8/10

Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit

Plot: Lady Tottington is hosting the village vegetable show, but she is having trouble with rabbits, as is the rest of the villagers. Lord Victor Quartermaine is willing to hunt them but Lady Tottington wants a more humane solution. Enter Wallace and Gromit, who run a humane pest control business. One night with a full moon, an accident occurs whilst Wallace tries his new mind control device on one of the rabbits, and the Were-Rabbit is created. Can Wallace and Gromit save the day, and the vegetable show, and win the heart of Lady Tottington?
My thoughts: This film is great fun for all the family. There is plenty of jokes hidden within it if you look for them. I often found myself laughing when no-one else did, because I noticed a joke. The plot is well developed, and perhaps not as obvious as you might think.
Best Bits: Spotting the clever jokes, such as the book titles! And look out for Lady Tottington’s big melons
Rating: 8 /10

Saw 2
Plot: The Serial Killer JIGSAW is at it again. This time he has captured eight people and locked them in a house of traps, and it is up to detective Eric Mathews (Donnie Wahlberg) to get them out, especially as one of the eight is his son.
My thoughts: If you have seen Saw then you know what you are in for; more gore, more traps and a killer ending. The film starts with a guy who has to choose between cutting his eye out or having his face crushed in by a bear trap contraption. After that the film is dedicated to the eight prisoners in the house and the detective who is watching them on the screens. Donnie Whalberg does a good job as the New Cop on the Block who has to start hanging tough to show he has the right stuff. There is a nice surprise as another one of the eight is orginal Saw survivor Amanda (Her who had the jaw bear trap contraption). The film delivers lots of gore and blood but mostly quite predictable throughout until you get to the twist at the end. And it was a good twist and well worth waiting for.
Best moment: The ending definitely. And the pit of needles (OUCH)
Score: 8/10

Plot: The Brothers Grimm, Jacob and Will, have made a living by conning villagers in Germany by researching old folk tales, faking them and charging lots of money to rid the villagers of the ‘evils’. They are uncovered by Delatombe (Jonathon Pryce) who offers them a chance for a pardon; they have to go to the village of Marbaden where children have been mysteriously disappearing. Their investigation uncovers an enchanted forest, a wicked queen and a 500 year old curse; the kind of things they have been faking for years!
My thoughts: It is quite a dark film which relies on the atmosphere to enhance the storyline, and not the acting of the cast, which in my mind was not that memorable. I found Jonathon Pryce’s French accent not very convincing. However there is some good dialogue and some funny moments. There are also a few yuk moments (The Toad and the Kitten for example- If you’ve seen it, you’ll know what I mean). The storyline does drag in places and the film could have been about 15 minutes shorter. However the end is good, if just a little bit predictable. What is interesting are the many references to fairy tales. They are dotted around everywhere, and part of the fun of the film for me was spotting them.
Best bit: The gingerbread man scene
Score 6/10

Flight Plan
Plot: Kyle Pratt (Jodie Foster) has to take the body of her husband back to America for burial. On the plane her daughter goes missing. She then turns the plane upside down to look for her, putting the whole plane at risk. But the real question is, is there a dastardly plot to hijack the plane, or did the daughter really exist?
My thoughts: I enjoyed this film. For most of the film there was enough uncertainty to keep you thinking, was the daughter real or not? The down side to the film had to be the resolution. Obviously the writers wanted to make an exciting finish so they overlooked some tiny details, such as the plot not really making much sense. If you thought about it too hard you will end up thinking “How on earth did they get away with that” or “that wouldn’t happen”. The trick is not to think about it too hard. Sean Bean plays the airline captain and for once he is not the bad guy!
Best Bit: The way the first half of the film was done made you uncertain as to whether the little girl existed.
Rating ; 7/10

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Plot: The Tri-Wizard tournament has come to Hogwarts. Harry’s name was unexpectedly pulled from the goblet of fire to be came a participant in the tournament and has to face a series of dangerous trials to become champion. But there is something more sinister at work; the death-eaters have started to move again, which can only mean one thing; Lord Voldemort is about to return.
My Thoughts: This is a very long film (2 and a half hours), especially in a cinema full of kids. However, even though it is long, it still feels a bit rushed; especially if you have read the book and remember all the things that didn’t make I into the film. But it is still a good family film, enough in it to keep you interested all the way through. There is a more human element to it also as the characters also have to face the prospect of dating and finding a partner for the Yule Ball. David Tennant makes a swift but welcome appearance as Barty Crouch Junior, and Miss Jones from Rising Damp also stars as the Giantess Maxime. One under used character in the film is Rita Skeeter (played by the brilliant Miranda Richardson) who I am sure had more of a role in the book.
Best Bit: The entrance of the pupils from the other schools. I wish I could get my pupils to act like those Beauxbaton girls! Also the graveyard scene is a touch scary, judging by the reaction of the kids in the cinema.
Rating: 8/10

The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Plot: Emily Rose died during an exorcism and priest Father Moore is on trial for murder. The defence lawyer Erin Bruner is out to prove the possibility that Emily was possessed by demons and that Father Brown was doing the best he could, including taking her off her prescribed drugs as they were inhibiting the exorcism process. The prosecution is out to prove that Emily in fact had a psychotic epileptic disorder and taking her off the drugs led to her death. We follow the exorcism via flashbacks and witnesses.
My Thoughts: This is a courtroom drama with a difference. The possession scenes and exorcism scenes are quite harrowing but fairly brief. Jennifer Carpenter, who played Emily, must be amazingly supple considering how often she had to contort her body. The filmmakers could have made more of the demonic attacks on the lawyer but I suppose this was meant to be ‘subtle’. On the whole this was a good drama- thought provoking considering it was based on a true story
Best Bit: The possession and the exorcism.
Score: 6/10

Keeping Mum
Plot: Vicars wife Gloria Goodfellow is a desperate housewife. Her husband, the vicar (Rowan Atkinson) is very boring, her 17-year-old daughter, Holly, is a raving nymphomaniac and her son is being bullied at school. Gloria is getting so desperate that she is considering an affair with sleezy golf pro Lance (Patrick Swayze). But things change when the new Nanny turns up. What they don’t know is that the new nanny, Grace (Maggie Smith) is a convicted murderer and also Gloria’s mother. Grace does her best to help her daughter, but in her own homicidal way.
My Thoughts: This film is a typical british comedy, a mixture of Shallow Grave and Miss Marple. It’s not laugh out loud like comparable American stuff, but the humour is gentle and slightly ‘off beat’. Grace is a cross between Mary Poppins and Myra Hindley. Patrick Swayze made a good sleazy golf pro but did we really have to see that thong? I think more could have been made of his womanising-perhaps a bit more flirting with Holly. Is it my imagination or does Rowan Atkinson only ever play vicars? But the nicest thing about the film is the change in Walter back to his old ‘fun loving’ self.
Best Bit:When Grace got revenge on the school bullies. Oh and the dog!
Score: 7/10

Mrs Henderson Presents.
Plot: Mrs Henderson (Judi Dench), who has recently been widowed, decides to invest her money in The Windmill Theatre. She hires manager Vivian Van Damm (Bob Hoskins) to run things. The film follows their relationship and the fortunes of the theatre through World War 2, including the introduction of the first (and possibly illegal) nude show.
My thoughts: Judi and Bob were fantastic in these parts. The dialogue between them is funny and sparkling. It is a pleasure to see Will Young in his first film role, even though he is underused in it. There is quite a bit of nudity (including Bob Hoskins- bleuuugh), which is understandable given the storyline.
Best Bits: The dialogue between Bob and Judi, and the dancing bear!
Score: 7/10

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
Plot: Four Children (Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy) are evacuated to a big country house during the war. In this house they come across a wardrobe, which turns out to be a doorway to the magical kingdom of Narnia. Narnia is being ruled by the evil White Witch, but the children have arrived to fulfil a prophecy, aided by the lion Aslan.
My thoughts: Firstly, not really about the film, but the cinema was freezing! They must have reduced the temperature to make it feel like it was always winter but never Christmas! As for the film, it is an amazing 2hr 20mins long and is quite close to the book, so that should please the literary fans. It’s a long time since I read the book, but I’m not sure there was such a battle scene in it. But the battle scene was spectacular, which is now expected from films with CGI. The kids put in a fine performance, especially Edmund, who does a good job at being an annoying brother. I was expecting the white witch to be a bit more seductive at the beginning, as she tempts Edmund in the sleigh, but her evil certainly comes out in the final battle. A magical film all round
Best Bits: Definitely the Beavers!
Score 8/10

King Kong
Plot: Movie Producer Carl Denham (Jack Black) takes leading lady Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), writer Jack Driscoll and a few other ape fodder extras to find the mysterious Skull Island. There they are attacked by savages who kidnap Ann and sacrifice her to the mighty Kong; a huge gorilla. The crew attempt to rescue her and capture the beast. If they can get it back to New York, then they may have a great show after all.
My thoughts: OK, first things first. It is 3hrs long. Although it is a very good film, you cannot escape the fact that it could do with being 1hr shorter somehow, except without actually losing any of the script. Next, the casting: I wasn’t blown away by the choice of cast. Jack Black is not my favourite actor so I was not really moved by his portrayal of Carl. As for Naomi Watts, the best thing about her are her eyes, which is fortunate seeing as there was more ‘eye’ acting then actual dialogue for Ann in the script. I expect the script often read “Ann makes doe eyes at Kong”. Also with the ships boy Jimmy, you kind of felt there ought to be a back-story, but it didn’t really amount to anything.
But apart from the length and the casting, the film is very good. The first 45mins sets the scene and build up to the island. And it was worth the build up. If you like Jurassic Park then you are in for a treat as the action pieces set on the island are phenomenal, right from the brontosaurus stampede, to the T-rex attack and some rather icky bugs. And Kong is well done, with some great emotional interplay between him and Ann. Perhaps the script read, “Kong makes doe eyes back”. If you have seen the original you know how it ends but this is done with more style, as long as you don’t think too much into it like “ If he is holding the girl how is he able to climb the empire state building with only one hand?” or “ After all that climbing and shooting how is it that Ann has an immaculately clean dress at the end?”
Best Bits: The T-Rex attack in the jungle. It is fantastic. Also Ann’s attempt to appease Kong with her ‘tricks’- It is the first sign of a positive emotion from Kong. And also the Ice pond scene at the end-very moving
Score: 8/10

Go see it- or it least rent it on DVD if you can’t sit for three hours.

Just Like Heaven
Plot: A lonely architect (Ruffalo) falls for the spirit of beautiful woman (Witherspoon) who used to live in his new apartment.
My Thoughts: For me this film had everything I want. It is a well-written romantic comedy with a supernatural theme (Think Ghost meets Bridget Jones). Reese Witherspoon continues to shine on screen and is perfect for the part. Mark Rufallo is going to be one of those actors that will pop up in everything over the next year, but he does a pretty good job as the lonely architect. There is enough comedy in it to keep you entertained but also you empathise with the characters. And yes- I was moved by the ending.
Best Bit: The Body Snatch scenes at the end. Oh, and I know they were only in it for a moment but, the Ghostbusters made me laugh out loud.
Score: 9/10

The Producers
Plot: Broadway Producer (Nathan Lane) is down on his luck until an encounter with accountant and wannabe producer Leo Bloom (Matthew Broderick) gives him the idea that the best way to make $2million is to produce a Broadway flop. Together they work to find the worst script, worst director and actors to make their dreams come true.
My Thoughts: This is a funny and outrageously camp film. Will Ferrell, who plays writer Franz Liebkind was hysterical as the German Nazi nut. There were some string performances from most of the cast, including a surprise stage appearance from John Barrowman. However at times I thought that Matthew Broderick looked uncomfortable in the role as Bloom, although the routine in the accounting office was stunning. The worst part in the film for me was Uma Therman, who played Swedish Ulla. Somehow her playing that character didn’t work for me. Perhaps Nicole Kidman 9Who was originally offered the part) would have been better- or maybe even Helga from Allo Allo. But there was some great music, and some fantastic visual comedy (Except the pigeons were quite cheesy)- and the largest amount of Zimmer frames I have ever seen.
Best bits: Will Ferrell’s German Dance routines
Score: 8/10

Fun With Dick and Jane
Plot: Dick (Jim Carrey) and Jane (Tea Leoni) Harper have it all; good jobs, a great family and a wonderful life. Until they find the company has gone bust and the CEO (Alec Baldwin) has run away with the money. They have to turn to a life of crime to pay the bills; which they find quite lucrative. Then they turn their attention on their former CEO.
My thoughts: This is a modernisation of an old 70’s film. Jim Carrey appears to play the same character in all his films and this is no different. It seems as if the plot is a series of disjointed ideas but it leads in the right direction and the final job is worth waiting for. However the end seems to leave me wanting a little bit more. Tea is very watch-able and makes a good co-star for Carrey.
Best Bits: There are some very good bits in the film, especially when they are trying to make money; for example- Jane’s Botox trials.
Score: 7/10

Memoirs of a Geisha
Plot: Chiyo was sold as a child to a Geisha house where and befriends another girl, Pumpkin. After a brief meeting with the Chairman, Chiyo decides to become a geisha to get him. The training causes rivalry between two geisha houses and against her friend Pumpkin.
My Thoughts: I will be honest with you, in the fisrt half hour I was bored stiff. I almost walked out. It was dark and nonsensical and the camera work was shaky. But After the first 30 mins, at the point where Chiyo meets the Chairman it started to get interesting- there was a point to the film. The film is basically in three parts. The first half hour sets the tone of it but you need strong will power to survive it. The middle section is the bit that moves the plot along. The training is a geisha is (as is described in Team America World police) done in Montage form. And the section is well acted, and you can feel the emotion between the rivalling Geisha houses. This section leads to auctioning of Chiyo’s virginity. My one disappointment is the actual Geisha dance, which was advertised as a big thing in previews but there was nothing in it really. And it is amazing how Chiyo managed to become the ‘most celebrated Geisha’ that everyone was talking about just after one performance where she runs around in platform shoes and falls down whilst someone throws confetti on her! The third section of the film happens after the war, the geisha houses have gone and the Americans are here. It is the final act and we see the conclusion of her chase for The Chairman. It is beautifully set and well acted, but takes a determination to see it through.
Best Bits: The Geisha Training
Score 6/10